Review of “Tales of the Shire”

Sure thing, here’s my take:

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You know when you’re so hungry you could eat anything, but then someone serves you a salad and you’re like, really? That’s kinda how I felt diving into Tales of the Shire. Yeah, it’s got that cozy Hobbit vibe, you know, from Tolkien’s world? Love those little guys. All snug, sipping tea, and munching on second breakfasts. But playing this game, wow, it’s like expecting a feast and getting, well, kinda half-baked bread.

So, here we go—imagine you’re this new hobbit plopped into Bywater, right? Gandalf kinda pops in for a sec—classic, right?—and then boom, you’re off trying to make this tiny place an official village or something. I mean, why not? Every fellow hobbit wants to help, but honestly, it’s mostly like running errands. Like, hey, go chat with this guy, oh and by the way, could you cook something up? Yeah, a lot of back and forth in this weirdly twisty-turny village. But still, the storytelling? Actually charming.

And cooking, my gosh. Seriously, it’s like the kitchen took over the whole game. Plant stuff, forage, all roads lead to dinner. Which, you think, yeah, hobbits love food, but everything? I mean, sure, you invite people over and stuff yourself silly. And then, same scene plays out. They love it, yay! But does it keep the game sizzling? Eh, not really. A bit shallow in the depth department if you ask me. Like, no one even gets hungry? That’s not very hobbit-like, honestly.

Anyway, day cycles in the game. Very simulation-esque. You’ve got a checklist—cook this, plant that, maybe fish a bit. The in-game folks have their own timing, their shops open and close like clockwork. And if you don’t hit the hay on time? Meh, you just wake up late, no biggie. Oh, but early on? Ran outta things to do way before bed. Just left wandering. Fishing. Waiting. Isn’t that just life?

Oh, and the graphics? Well, played it on both Switch and this snazzy new Switch 2. Not bad, but those hobbit faces—ugh, not my fave. Weird-looking, but hey, dwarf woman with a beard, points for that. Switch 1 struggled hard with frame rates, and Switch 2, better but not perfect. Some wonky moments, like that blood-red sky glitch. That was nuts. And crashes. One every 20 minutes, swear on the Shire. Left me saving every five seconds like it’s a new twitch.

So honestly, I wanted this to be the game. It’s got that promise, y’know? But as it stands, it’s rough. Like, beta version vibes. Needs more cooking—pun intended. With those pesky performance issues, I just can’t tell you to run and buy it. Maybe in time? It could grow on us, like a patch of green in the Shire. But not today.