Alright, let’s dive in, shall we?
Okay, peanut butter and chocolate—who was the genius behind that? Sometimes I think they must be rolling in dough now, but then I remember that poor dude in The Wire who invented the Chicken McNugget. Anyway, you get these ideas, right? Seems so obvious, yet no one thought of it sooner. Like, I swear, every time I dashed back to our time-traveling spaceship, dodging those pesky Time Reapers, I kept asking myself, “Why did it take so long for someone to say, ‘Hey, let’s mix up Overcooked and Gears of War’ and call it Pizza Bandit?”
So, here’s the deal with Pizza Bandit. You’re Malik—ex-bounty hunter turned wannabe chef, swindled out of your pizza joint, and roped back into bounty hunting ’cause your old crew’s in a sticky spot. Yeah, the story’s kinda goofy, but honestly? That’s the charm. It’s hard to get upset when Albert the android can’t apologize properly for wrecking my pizzaria since he’s, you know, just an android? Plus, my pilot reminisces about missing the fog of all things. Random.
Now, you’re not just any bounty hunter crew. Nope. You’re time-traveling, hopping through space and time, bringing chaos in every era you visit. I still don’t understand half of how it works. What I do know? Pizza heals, bullets kill, and those nasty Time Reapers—absolutely hate this pizza-making gig we’ve got going.
And Pizza Bandit’s not just about shooting stuff up. Nope, there’s some Overcooked madness mixed in. First mission with my crew (up to three friends, folks!) had us at this place called the Restaurant from Nowhere. Sounds mysterious, right? We had to whip up pizzas for other bounty hunting squads, load them into rocket pods, make sure drink orders were correct—oh, and watch out for those darn Time Reapers who seem dead set on destroying small businesses.
What’s wild is managing both pizza-making and battling. Those Time Reapers are relentless, and negotiation’s definitely off the table. You unleash some serious firepower—started off with basic rifles and grenades, but then there’s the disco ball weapon. It explodes after getting the enemies dancing. And the sentry turret? Chef’s kiss! Also, wielding a human-sized pizza slicer against time-invading foes—who wouldn’t want to try that?
Anyway, fighting these Time Reapers is no joke. You’ll be up against all kinds of oddballs—crawling, leaping, hammer-wielding giants, even fireball chuckers. You can’t take them lightly.
Pizza Bandit truly shines when you’re with a crew calling the shots. You’ll hear shouts of, “Pepperoni!” or “On the drinks!” while gunfire roars in the background. The strategy matters too—like launching a rocket pod stocked with goodies at the right time and place. It keeps every mission fresh and intense.
And here’s another gem—there’s more than just one type of level. This other one had us running a sushi place, juggling fish and rolls, while Time Reapers tried crashing our party. Then there’s Wizard’s Tomb, full of traps and puzzles, all for recovering a sarcophagus. And transporting it with jetpacks? Yeah, that’s how we roll.
One mission had us in a cabin with Dr. Emmert Browne, fending off foes while keeping him fed and warm as he invents a time machine. Dealing with Reapers and maybe Wendigos is just another day, right? But I love this job. Can’t stop. Won’t stop.
Pizza Bandit is always insane—like, once I had to cook “magic powder” inside chicken. And the laughs keep coming. Between crazy missions, you head back to your place, tweak and upgrade gear, bake pies for stat boosts, or grab stylish new outfits. That milk carton backpack? A real head turner. In this life, there’s always another gig waiting.
You never know what you want until it lands in your lap. That’s how Pizza Bandit feels. First time I tried it, way back at PAX, it clicked immediately. Can’t say why no one tried this mix before, but once you try, there’s no going back. Pizza heals, bullets kill—Jofsoft, land this right and we’re looking at a masterpiece.
