Your controller’s acting up. Figures. Anyway, at Radio Free Nintendo, we absolutely adore the Big Ape. It’s practically gospel around here—a legend birthed way back in the days of our Now Playing segments, which, let’s be honest, are lost to time.
Writing this got me pondering—“The Big Ape” as a nickname for Donkey Kong? Maybe it’s apt, maybe not. My mind’s a runaway train at times, so bear with me as I dive down this rabbit hole: Let’s analyze what makes an ape according to The Center for Great Apes.
Okay, so, hair versus fur. Hair just keeps on growing, right? DK’s got that iconic do, so I’m calling it: count it as hair.
Then there are the fingernails, not claws. Normally he’s all fists, but I swear I’ve seen nails somewhere among DK art. Trust me on this.
Opposable thumbs? Again, fists. Thanks for the consistency, DK.
Brain size and intelligence? Dude ties a mean tie and drives kart—ever see a marmot handle a vehicle? Didn’t think so.
Prehensility’s covered by those hardworking fists.
Fingerprints? Honestly, haven’t a clue.
Binocular vision? Necessary for his punch-heavy lifestyle. Fists…win again.
Reduced sense of smell? Yeah, I got nothing.
So, can we stamp ‘ape’ on DK? I’d say so, mostly. But this one nugget from The Center for Great Apes caught my eye:
People muddle apes with monkeys all the time. The big difference? Tails. Monkeys have them; apes don’t.
Which brings me to Diddy Kong. Poor guy’s not an ape. Probably not the sharpest tool in the shed either, and he’s definitely gonna kick the bucket way before DK. Sorry, Diddy.
Anyway—there was a Donkey Kong Bananza Direct on Wednesday. A short 15-minute ride through gameplay and story. Surprise twist: DK’s new sidekick is, well, a pint-sized Pauline. Cue the internet losing its mind over DK and Pauline’s dynamic. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Here’s what you should remember:
Pauline’s human, so…an ape by our logic?
Diddy’s not.
Diddy’s journey will, unfortunately, end sooner.
So essentially, DK’s shopping for a replacement sidekick. Makes sense if you ask me.
Oh, James went off in a wild monologue about Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time. There are all these systems and “lives,” it was like drowning in a sea of game mechanics. Seriously—mine ore, make a better saw, rinse and repeat until you have a respectable weapon. Crazy stuff.
After that, a well-deserved break. Upon return, more New Business. Jon’s trading up consoles via GameStop—except, surprise, Special Agent Steve of GameStop InfoSec steps in. Guess you could call it a bug hunt. Greg updates us on Mario Kart World and F-Zero GX. Curious how two racing giants headline Switch 2’s launch, isn’t it? Mario Kart World’s massive. Guillaume and James put the GameChat feature on Switch 2 through its paces, exchanging game streams—F-Zero GX, Mario Kart World, Fantasy Life i. Plus, some hands-on time with the Switch 2 Pro Controller.
This week’s Lister Mail attempts were a bit unconventional—imagine marketing campaigns for Mario Kart World’s various companies. Want to pitch an idea? We’re all ears.
Just one final note on “The Big Ape.” It’s not an epithet—didn’t dub him Donkey Kong The Big Ape—or a nom de guerre; he didn’t pick it. It’s just a nickname, plain and simple. I’m definitely mixing these terms up forever, see you on the flip side.
